Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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