North Korea, Best Korea!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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