the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
