But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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