whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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