I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She made me pour olive oil on her.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
