Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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