Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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