Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
