i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just cropdusted the office
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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