You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
