He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize