Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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