So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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