I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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