i think my tv is drunk
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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