Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
