Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
