before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
