We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
