We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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