Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
