yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
