Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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