friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
