listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
