Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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