Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just want nice things and good sex
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
