just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
