Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oh god the rape fog is back!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
