dude i'm inner monologue high
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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