I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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