Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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