what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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