So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
