in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
They are going to name an STD after you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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