we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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