I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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