so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
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