Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
