Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
