I think I can smell my own vagina right now
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
