doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
