He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
