Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
