Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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