I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
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I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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