yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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