Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
