Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Randomize
