I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize