Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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