I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
