I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
