Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I cockslap morals
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
