This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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