Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
