so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
