what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
