the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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