we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
