DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
