I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
