new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
