my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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